enter I have flow charts that run my life. Every interaction I have with people relies on a flow chart. My flow charts are listed on sub levels in my brain I am unaware of. I know they exist because my world comes crashing down when people don’t follow my flow charts.
http://www.hotelsb.eu/write-my-position-paper-for-me/ I’m sure as a little kid, to bring order to the chaos that was my childhood, I formed these logic flow charts. As a little boy, when I did get in trouble or something went wrong, nobody ever reasoned the outcome for me. I had to figure out the reasoning myself.
- As a small child, I am loud in a public restaurant.
- Dad gets mad at me.
- I get spanked.
- One of my siblings is loud.
- Dad gets mad
- Everyone gets in trouble
- People get loud
- Dad gets mad
- I get spanked
http://www.55studio.com.au/?admission-essay-custom-writing As an adult, I have no father around, so I can make my own rules. I don’t break from this cycle because I have the fear of God in me every time my kids get loud. I get mad at my children.
Bucket List Essay I have thousands of these flow charts in my head and I am always discovering them after the fact.
Here’s a big one I just discovered. My wife gives me unconditional love. I’ve learned love isn’t given freely. There are 2 routes I can go.
Route A: Reject the love.
When my wife gives me unconditional love I truly feel I don’t deserve it. I’m not going to tell her I don’t want it because I do, but I didn’t earn it according to my rules and flow charts. I’ll have to make her mad at me so she’ll take it back. Then I can do something wonderful to make up for it all and she will then give it to me in a clean, laundered form.
Route B: Accept the love
Another way to allow myself the freely given love is to actually earn it once received. Before I can truly enjoy the love I freely receive, I have to work hard for it first. I have to do something special before I can receive this love. (
This usually doesn’t go well in 2 different ways. Either my wife’s love is reject because I haven’t paid the proper tribute. Or, I pay proper tribute and I’m not given the love I deserve.
Either way, this never goes well.
What to do?
The primary step to solve this problem is realizing in our brains, we have these flowcharts set up. We have setup these flowcharts to add logic to our chaotic world. As adults, we are in control of our lives and are no longer stuck in the past world of chaos.
I am constantly rediscovering these flowcharts I’ve setup in my life. I have to identify them, and shatter them (because, like it or not, I will make the flowchart match my world. If my flowchart requires something bad to happen as an end result, I will make sure that bad thing happens).